Hard Things

Casting Crowns has a song called "Jesus Friend of Sinners" and the chorus goes like this:

Oh Jesus, friend of sinners

Open our eyes to the world at the end of our pointing fingers

Let our hearts be led by mercy

Let us reach with open hearts and open doors

Jesus, friend of sinners

Break our hearts for what breaks yours."

It's that last line...if I'm going to sing those lyrics, I better mean it.  

The last couple of days have been particularly interesting and quite difficult too.  South Africa is a country of breathtaking beauty, but alongside that beauty are the scarred remains and the human carnage of a dark and ugly history.

Our hosts at Seed of Hope have been doing a good job of helping us to see all aspects of the country, including the present reality of life in South Africa, particularly for the black communities.  We have seen some situations which have disturbed us greatly, and moved us to ask hard questions, for which there are no simple answers.  Our gut instincts are to "fix" things, yet we are learning that's not always what's best for everyone involved.

In asking the questions (such as... What would Jeremiah 29:11 look like for the little granny- blind, bedridden, locked inside a hot, dirty hut without water or food?  Where is the hope for the 13 year old girl infected with HIV? How can I go home to my nice house, cars, and excess of absolutely everything?...etc. etc.) I find that I am desperate for justice!  And yet I KNOW that God is present here the same as He is with us at home; His word applies as much to the South Africans as it does to us.  I have needed to remind myself of these truths several times over the past two days.

The Zulu people are oppressed in many ways- government corruption, ancestor worship, cultural issues, and especially the legacy of hopelessness they have as a result of apartheid.  One thing I found out today, is that unlike some of the previous experiences our church has had with those living in extreme poverty, most of the black South Africans actually FEEL poor.  They have been oppressed, segregated and de-humanized for so long that they now believe the lie that they are worthless and can't do for themselves.  In essence, they are without hope in many cases.  However, those who have put their faith in Jesus and are finding hope DESPITE their circumstances.  Their faith is deep and strong, and sustains them through challenges which we in North America could never imagine. 

I have a profound respect for the staff at Seed of Hope, who have chosen to live and work among the people here, building genuine friendships and pouring themselves into the lives of others.  You should see how amazing these people are!  Their love for one another and the unity they have are awe-inspiring!  And they are bringing Hope to the community of Bhekulwandle in the name of Jesus.  

I look at their work here and I listen to their stories and I ask myself, "God, what must change in me so that my heart DOES break for what breaks yours?"

And what am I going to do about it. 

Angela