When Helping Hurts

For the last year and half we have been studying "When Helping Hurts".  Our trip to South Africa was like a culmination final paper and exam on a course which I (in my own mind) have entitled "Community Developement and Poverty Alleviation."  We learned during the book study that sin destroys our relationship with God, our relationship with creation and our relationship with others.  The poor (no mater where in the world) are those who have these broken relationships. We have also been learning that just giving to the poor is not really helping.  In actual fact it becomes demoralizing to those who receive the hand outs.  They feel the only way to get ahead is to receive money/help form foreigners.  Truly helping others embraces the concept of respect, patience and a belief that everyone has gifts that God has given them that are adequate enough to solve their problems.  I'm not trying to say that giving is wrong.  I'm saying that coming along side and partnering with others is the long term sustainable way to build into their lives.  We need to be coming along side of people and empowering them.  Helping them to see their God given gifts and how they can use them to improve their own circumstances. 

Now I would like to take the expression "When helping hurts" to another dynamic.  When we reach out to others in an effort to help, we quite often get hurt.  During our time in South Africa, Nic reached out and prayed for Max and was hurt deeply when he discovered two days later Max had past away.  Max had third stage Aids. Although it did hurt I don't think Nic would have changed or avoided this experience.   Les and Angela also had a life changing experience when they was able to visit Grace.  They was deeply moved by the poverty seen in Grace's "relationships."  Les was able to pray for Grace that God would be a comfort and help her in her situation.  They discovered later that even though she was a believer she had been a hard women who quite often pushed people away from her.  So in her last days she was alone, locked in a run down house without any companionship.  It hurt them deeply to see Grace left alone in her poverty.

As we reach out to others wherever we are let's remember to keep our relationship with God strong and let's keep reaching out to others even though it might hurt. We need to keep building relationships where we mutually encourage one another to continue to use our God given gifts to serve Him and others.

Les and Julia

More about Max

October 1st. I was invited to another home visit with the health team again with Sue, Jabu and Buli. We visit a home where the two clients who were both on anti retrovirals, so I thought maybe a good outcome. The young mother Thulisle had four boys ranging in age from eight years to a baby of six months. She was also taking care of a young seven year old girl Thobeka who was the daughter of her brother. This is where it becomes really tough. Her father had died of AIDS, she was infected by him when she was only four years old. ..It's so difficult to keep it together at times. I so admire our health team that deals with these situations every day.
  The rest of the day was a blur. Our SEMC team led the staff meeting in the afternoon. Both Angela and Julia were amazing. Then Angela and I sat in on a Lifewise HIV training course offered by Michelle Waldron to various pastors in the community.
  That evening we have a debriefing back home and Angela reveals how I was able to connect with Max on Monday. She just found out earlier that Monday afternoon his brother drove him to a clinic . I felt lifted from the despair I experienced earlier.
 The next day Deve rejoins the team having flown in very early that morning. We were learning about community development from Carl. That afternoon after Deve, Les, Dan and Carl had returned from lunch; I received another shock. ..
   Jabu came into the room and asked me to follow her to the health care office, she told me that Max had died. His wife was in the office and I was to try and comfort her. Now this is really tough. I am crying while typing this days later. We all hugged and prayed and cried. I was a mess as I left the room and walked to the meeting area where the team was. Thanks to everyone who then came around and prayed. How powerful that was  and the timing with Deve's arrival was so helpful.
  Soon after Dan Wein and I went on a tour in the country to view the farming efforts.  With the recent rains everything looked very lush green and alive. This was a healing journey.
   We all experienced so much on this trip. I just thank all of you that supported us through prayer and ask that continues as we try to process all that God revealed on the journey.

Nico

Returning

Home.  The faces, the comforts, the familiar and yet not so familiar sights and sounds are starting to replace the ones we've been accustomed to for the past two weeks.  How is it possible that we're already back in Canada? It's all so very surreal.

And, as we were advised, now the real work begins.  We need to slowly peel back the layers of our experiences, and process what we learned about what God is doing both in South Africa and also here in Sarnia. Sounds simple, but I suspect it will be more difficult than I ever imagined.

For me, I am going to start by focusing on on two things, which are in direct relation to the experiences I found most challenging in South Africa.  First, I need to rethink the way I read scripture and how I tend to interpret it through the lenses of my own culture or even my own personal realities.  It dawned on me that I am guilty of this- interpreting God's word only as it relates to my life.

Also, at first when I came face to face with extreme material poverty, it messed me up.  (It's actually still messing me up).  My heart broke for these families whose daily existence is a fight for survival, while mine is so the complete opposite of that.  My first and natural reaction was to want to start giving away my belongings, move to a different home, and level the playing field a bit.  Then, through some wise counsel and lots of tearful prayer, I came to understand that God does not ask this of me, it is put on me by myself to ease the discomfort which I was feeling.  I am starting to understand that rather than despise my life, the better response is to appreciate the life I have and to simplify.  In removing distractions, then I will be able to pour more of myself into the relationships I have and will have- building into people rather than being a slave to "stuff".

I'm probably already jumping too far ahead in this whole processing part, as our tendency (my tendency) is to want to wrap things up into a tidy little package.  I recognize already that I am changed, and I know God is working so I'll try not to get in the way of what it is He wants to teach me.

I do want to say thank you though, to our families and friends for praying us through these experiences and I ask you to please continue praying as we "unpack".

We serve a great God;  mkhulu unkulunkulu UBaba.

Angela

Learn With Us...Please

Today I had the great privilege of reuniting with our team at Seed of Hope. (Turns out they didn't really miss me as much as I missed being with them, but that's a whole other really good God story.)

One of our main goals was to come to Seed of Hope to learn from the team that is here. Today we learned about the importance of identifying the resources within a community (from CEO Carl Waldron) as an integral first step toward community transformation.

What comes to mind when you hear or see the word "poverty"?  In what way are they "poor"? What criteria are you using to determine the level of "poverty"?

What comes to mind when you hear or see the term "well being"? What is required to determine that you've achieved enough "well being"?

If you're like me and most North Americans, your instinct is to think economically, materially. We do that because we lack a capacity to appreciate and recognize the valuable resources that are within each community, mostly because we look at others from a distance and evaluate them based on our conditions and even our desires.

But resources are abundant in every community, including the ones in Sarnia and the ones that we have visited here in South Africa. Resources can fall into the following categories: Human, Natural, Economic, Medical, Physical, Social, Spiritual and Time.

Now ask yourself these questions about these resources: Am I benefitting from a balance of these resources in my community? Are there resources that I misuse or abuse? Are there resources that I lack?

Now ask yourself this question: How does God's Truth address my relationship to these resources?

If your uncomfortable with some of your answers don't be dismayed, rather, along with us, be committed to learning from God to better appreciate and manage all of the resources He places around us and to be more generous with those resources of which we over-consume in order to make our communities near and far a Gospel reflection of God's generous grace.

Thanks for your continued prayer.

Deve

Beauty in Unexpected Places

When you are confronted with hard situations, it's often difficult to see that even in the midst of what we see as horrific, there is incredible beauty.

Today, Les and I travelled around with Musa.  Musa is one of the Zulu staff members, and his job is to connect with young people both in the Seed of Hope centre and also in the local schools.  Getting to know Musa has been a delight.  His sense of humour and deep love for God draws people to him.

 And his laugh!.... Let's just say I've found a kindred spirit when it comes to enjoying a good chuckle.  You just can't be sad around Musa- he is a bright shining light for God here.


So we visited some of the schools he works in and I want to tell you about the first one.  It is located very close to SoH in the township of Bhekulwandle.  The conditions there are quite shocking as you can see...goats roam freely (and leave evidence of their visits to the classrooms...IN the classrooms), windows are broken, and the schoolyard contains the ruins of someone's former house.  And yet, Musa loves it here!









So do the teachers you see here with me.  They were so excited to meet some Canadians!  They laughed with us and hugged us like we were long lost friends.  I don't know if they were believers, but if I had to guess I would say that yes they were.

It was just so striking that in the midst of what I, looking through my North American lenses saw as ruins and hopelessness, these women were happy, proud and excited to greet us and tell us about their school.

Wow... I have so much to learn.

angela